If You Give A Mouse a Cookie

Or, in my case, if you decide to paint your kitchen.

First, you will remove everything from the counters and pull out the oven and refrigerator (rendering the kitchen useless for food preparation, but how long can it take to paint a kitchen?).

After you get over the mortification of what lurks beneath the oven and fridge (blaming the acorns, cat food, cat hair, and other unmentionables on the previous owner), you take time to give all a good cleaning.

Remove all outlet covers.

Begin taping the kitchen, discovering that one cabinet is pulling away from the wall.

Decipher the hitherto unknown clips holding shelves in place (after removing everything from cabinet...you are now almost out of room in the dining room), remove shelves, spend a lot of time strategizing about method of repairing cabinet.

While Tony carries out complicated cabinet repair, continue taping kitchen, discovering that several cabinet doors and drawers need to be removed (something else to place in the dining room). Add drill to the growing pile of tools migrating to the kitchen.

By now it is time to eat, with no access to refrigerator, oven, microwave, toaster oven....make a run to McDonald's; eat on living room floor.

Finally, begin painting (miracle of miracles--you already have paint trays, rollers, drop cloths, brushes, and the paint!).

Constantly shift ladder, step-stool, stove, and fridge so that everything can be reached.

Survey the wreckage: every tool you possess is now in the kitchen.

Decide to go out to eat since you are again hungry, there is no way to use the kitchen, and the Sugar Bowl is on...but not on a channel you can get.

Order an appetizer to draw out dinner, as you wonder if sitting in the smoking section could be worth seeing the game.

Long about half-time, realize that they are setting up for karaoke, and the game may very well be turned off (you have already ordered your entree, of course).

Mid third quarter (while you are still amazed at Utah's performance), the game sound goes off and karaoke begins.

Finish dinner and silent game while listening to (pretty good) loud karaoke and trying not to inhale.

Go to bed, realizing the next day the kitchen needs a second coat.